When I was a little girl I had a secret hiding place where I would go to hide from my sisters, to daydream, to pretend I was in some far off land, and to most of all just to have a place to go where I could be free to be me. That old corn trailer in back of my parents shop was a safe place for me. It was where I was truly free to be myself. I know I spent hours even days playing, pretending, singing, dancing, reading, and talking to myself in that old trailer whenever I wanted to hide from the world. It was a place where I felt whole and complete and most of all I felt loved.
When I was in junior high, I hated life. I was bullied and had really low self esteem. I wanted for nothing more than to hide myself from the world, I wanted to dig a hole where no one could find me and just live there. I wanted my secret hiding place back. But I could not go back.
From the days of junior high to my college days not too much changed in my life, I had never really found happiness. Looking back now I see that I was not in a relationship with God. While I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to my senior year, I had never really gotten to know God. I knew that He loved me but I didn't really love Him. I was restless. Saint Augustine said, "Our hearts are restless until we rest in thee." There was a hole in my heart and I tied everything to fill it. I did what the world said a young person should do to be happy, but still the ache in my heart just seemed to grow.
It wasn't until I was in college that I really started to live my life for the Lord. When I committed myself to Him, I found the place were I truly belong. The place I call my own isn't even mine at all, it is all His because it is His Most Sacred Heart. It is a place for the broken, the lost, and the unwanted because all are welcome. His heart is not my hiding place, it is quite the opposite, it is my dwelling place, my home. It is the place I find rest and the place I am truly myself. His Heart, which he poured out selflessly so that all might live is the perfect place for me.
Hearts are the center of the body, if the heart stops beating the body and the mind dies. The heart sends blood to the entire body and receives that same blood. When it is lacking the life-giving oxygen the body needs the heart pumps blood to the lungs, and oxygen rich blood flows through the heart it is sent to the place in the body that needs it most. Jesus' heart does the same thing for those who make there dwelling place within. He will fill you with the good things you need and make sure you are sent exactly where you need to be. His Most Sacred Heart has become my home and it is the perfect place for me. For it is where I am made whole, complete, and most all it is where I am loved.
The Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Have Mercy on us.
Jes
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