When I was a little girl I had a secret hiding place where I would go to hide from my sisters, to daydream, to pretend I was in some far off land, and to most of all just to have a place to go where I could be free to be me. That old corn trailer in back of my parents shop was a safe place for me. It was where I was truly free to be myself. I know I spent hours even days playing, pretending, singing, dancing, reading, and talking to myself in that old trailer whenever I wanted to hide from the world. It was a place where I felt whole and complete and most of all I felt loved.
When I was in junior high, I hated life. I was bullied and had really low self esteem. I wanted for nothing more than to hide myself from the world, I wanted to dig a hole where no one could find me and just live there. I wanted my secret hiding place back. But I could not go back.
From the days of junior high to my college days not too much changed in my life, I had never really found happiness. Looking back now I see that I was not in a relationship with God. While I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to my senior year, I had never really gotten to know God. I knew that He loved me but I didn't really love Him. I was restless. Saint Augustine said, "Our hearts are restless until we rest in thee." There was a hole in my heart and I tied everything to fill it. I did what the world said a young person should do to be happy, but still the ache in my heart just seemed to grow.
It wasn't until I was in college that I really started to live my life for the Lord. When I committed myself to Him, I found the place were I truly belong. The place I call my own isn't even mine at all, it is all His because it is His Most Sacred Heart. It is a place for the broken, the lost, and the unwanted because all are welcome. His heart is not my hiding place, it is quite the opposite, it is my dwelling place, my home. It is the place I find rest and the place I am truly myself. His Heart, which he poured out selflessly so that all might live is the perfect place for me.
Hearts are the center of the body, if the heart stops beating the body and the mind dies. The heart sends blood to the entire body and receives that same blood. When it is lacking the life-giving oxygen the body needs the heart pumps blood to the lungs, and oxygen rich blood flows through the heart it is sent to the place in the body that needs it most. Jesus' heart does the same thing for those who make there dwelling place within. He will fill you with the good things you need and make sure you are sent exactly where you need to be. His Most Sacred Heart has become my home and it is the perfect place for me. For it is where I am made whole, complete, and most all it is where I am loved.
The Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Have Mercy on us.
Jes
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The Love Which I Have found : My post NET Reflection
Almost a year ago I was preparing to leave to serve nine months doing missionary work with NET Ministries. It is funny how time flies. It is hard to believe that one year ago I left for NET, and my mom's breast cancer went into remission, all on the same day. It is amazing how somethings change dramatically and some things never change.
One year later and I am still broken, still unsure, and still very much a sinner. But I did change. I was transformed into a new person, a new creation. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has passed away, behold the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17
I didn't the day after the Final mass, go to the nearest convent to sign up to become a nun, though that was what some people I knew thought I would do. What had changed the most about me, was my heart. I found out what it means to have a deep and profound relationship with the Lord. I learned what it means to pray.
"Great is the mystery of faith. The Church professes this mystery in the Apostle's Creed and celebrated it in the sacramental liturgy so the life of the faithful may be conformed to Christ in the Holy Spirit to the glory of God the Father. This mystery, then, requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the true and living God. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS PRAYER." CCC 2558
Our relationship with God is prayer. On the road, I discovered what it means to have a relationship with God, and I discovered what it truly means to be in love with the Lord. Before NET, I was restless. I was living very much of the world. I wasn't a terrible person, but I wasn't really living my life for the Lord.
Saint Augustine wrote in his Confessions, "Our hearts, O Lord, were made for you, and they are restless until they rest in you."
I was restless living in the world and living of the world. My heart knew that I was made for something bigger but I could not define what that longing was. I prayed but only when I felt like it; it was not a daily routine.
But something in my heart changed. I remember during fall training at WAPO hearing the talk, God, Our Father. I wept at the realization that God is indeed my father and He wants only good things for me. While bad things have happened in my life, He loves me through those things. While I am still a sinner He sent His own beloved son, Jesus, to die on a cross for my sinners so I could achieve heaven. That is how much He loves me. His love is something that I can never earn but I just get to receive.
"But God shows his love for us in the while we where yet sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
I can never earn God's love. I don't deserve it and I never will. But God in his goodness lavishes His love upon me. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should have eternal life." John 3:16
The constant in my prayer life since last October has been God's love. I will spend the whole of my lifetime trying to truly understand what it means to be loved by God, something that I will never understand.
Life with NET was not easy. Those days when you wake up at 4:45 AM after going to sleep late, or driving over five hours after a retreat, or when you are crying because you don't know what your mom looks like because when you left she had no hair from battling cancer, or even when you were sick running a fever on a overnight retreat at a camp in the middle of nowhere, while your female TL is away, and you wake up in the morning to find out that the heater was not working and it was 43 degrees in your room and you have a small group. Those are the days where you want to just say, "God Today I give up! I want to go home." But somehow even with the bad days God still works and He still loves us so very much.
Those are the days where you realize how very much God loves you and how He has provided for you.
God's love for me was made evident for me in my teammates. Team life and living in community was something that drew me to NET. I wanted people in my life to affirm me and to push me to learn to be closer to Christ. I wanted true brothers and sisters in Christ. God answered my prayers. My brotherhood did something for me that I cannot even express in words. They restored my faith there are truly good men in the world, men that seek to guard women's hearts and want to up hold their dignity. My sisterhood taught me to listen first, to put myself last, and what it means to be a beautiful woman of God.
My team loved me and showed me that I deserve to be loved. They made me laugh for hours on end, they made me cry, and at times they made me angry, but through it all they lead me to greater holiness. Anney, Matt, Nichole, David, Mary, Kolbe, Chris, Zach, and Jessica, you all have shown me Christ's love and made me a better person.
"I thank me God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and all the saints, and I prayer that the sharing of your faith my promote the knowledge of all the good that is ours in Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother(s) and (sisters), because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you." Philemon 1:4-7
While a year has passed some much has changed and much has remained the same. I am still broken, I am still imperfect, and I still am a sinner. What has changed is that I am confident in knowing that I have the love of a father that surpasses all understanding, and I have true and lasting relationship God whom I am in love with. I know that while I am broken I am not shattered. I am a work in progress and He will bring his masterpiece to completion.
"I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you (me) will continue to complete it till the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
One year later and I am still broken, still unsure, and still very much a sinner. But I did change. I was transformed into a new person, a new creation. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has passed away, behold the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17
I didn't the day after the Final mass, go to the nearest convent to sign up to become a nun, though that was what some people I knew thought I would do. What had changed the most about me, was my heart. I found out what it means to have a deep and profound relationship with the Lord. I learned what it means to pray.
"Great is the mystery of faith. The Church professes this mystery in the Apostle's Creed and celebrated it in the sacramental liturgy so the life of the faithful may be conformed to Christ in the Holy Spirit to the glory of God the Father. This mystery, then, requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the true and living God. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS PRAYER." CCC 2558
Our relationship with God is prayer. On the road, I discovered what it means to have a relationship with God, and I discovered what it truly means to be in love with the Lord. Before NET, I was restless. I was living very much of the world. I wasn't a terrible person, but I wasn't really living my life for the Lord.
Saint Augustine wrote in his Confessions, "Our hearts, O Lord, were made for you, and they are restless until they rest in you."
I was restless living in the world and living of the world. My heart knew that I was made for something bigger but I could not define what that longing was. I prayed but only when I felt like it; it was not a daily routine.
But something in my heart changed. I remember during fall training at WAPO hearing the talk, God, Our Father. I wept at the realization that God is indeed my father and He wants only good things for me. While bad things have happened in my life, He loves me through those things. While I am still a sinner He sent His own beloved son, Jesus, to die on a cross for my sinners so I could achieve heaven. That is how much He loves me. His love is something that I can never earn but I just get to receive.
"But God shows his love for us in the while we where yet sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
I can never earn God's love. I don't deserve it and I never will. But God in his goodness lavishes His love upon me. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should have eternal life." John 3:16
The constant in my prayer life since last October has been God's love. I will spend the whole of my lifetime trying to truly understand what it means to be loved by God, something that I will never understand.
Life with NET was not easy. Those days when you wake up at 4:45 AM after going to sleep late, or driving over five hours after a retreat, or when you are crying because you don't know what your mom looks like because when you left she had no hair from battling cancer, or even when you were sick running a fever on a overnight retreat at a camp in the middle of nowhere, while your female TL is away, and you wake up in the morning to find out that the heater was not working and it was 43 degrees in your room and you have a small group. Those are the days where you want to just say, "God Today I give up! I want to go home." But somehow even with the bad days God still works and He still loves us so very much.
Those are the days where you realize how very much God loves you and how He has provided for you.
God's love for me was made evident for me in my teammates. Team life and living in community was something that drew me to NET. I wanted people in my life to affirm me and to push me to learn to be closer to Christ. I wanted true brothers and sisters in Christ. God answered my prayers. My brotherhood did something for me that I cannot even express in words. They restored my faith there are truly good men in the world, men that seek to guard women's hearts and want to up hold their dignity. My sisterhood taught me to listen first, to put myself last, and what it means to be a beautiful woman of God.
My team loved me and showed me that I deserve to be loved. They made me laugh for hours on end, they made me cry, and at times they made me angry, but through it all they lead me to greater holiness. Anney, Matt, Nichole, David, Mary, Kolbe, Chris, Zach, and Jessica, you all have shown me Christ's love and made me a better person.
"I thank me God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and all the saints, and I prayer that the sharing of your faith my promote the knowledge of all the good that is ours in Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother(s) and (sisters), because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you." Philemon 1:4-7
While a year has passed some much has changed and much has remained the same. I am still broken, I am still imperfect, and I still am a sinner. What has changed is that I am confident in knowing that I have the love of a father that surpasses all understanding, and I have true and lasting relationship God whom I am in love with. I know that while I am broken I am not shattered. I am a work in progress and He will bring his masterpiece to completion.
"I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you (me) will continue to complete it till the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Dressing with Dignity
There is something about being a woman, something that is so amazing you can't quite put words to it. Women have something that men do not have. It is what makes us women. It is something captivating. We also have a lot of power because we are captivating.
As women we have a God given beauty. And this beauty draws people to us. But this God given beauty needs to be protected. Some many young women fall into the trap that in order to be seen as beautiful they have to display everything for all the world to see. They have to dress in short shorts, low cut tops, and low rise pants to show off their beauty and to attract a man. But this could not be farther than the truth.
Dressing modestly does not mean you are a prude or you have to dress in burkas everyday. It is about upholding your dignity and respecting yourself. I know I have fallen into the trap that I needed to dress a certain way to get a man's attention. I have done it and I thought that it was fine. But I was not only downgrading my dignity as a woman but I am tempting my brothers in Christ and most likely someone's future husband by the way I dress.
Attraction is fine. But do you really want a guy looking at you saying "Wow She has really nice boobs. I am attracted to her." Or would you rather have someone look at you and say, " Wow she is smart, funny, and beautiful. I am attracted to her." Modestly helps to the world to see you are a whole being not just the sum of your parts.
If we dress in such a way to call attention to our sexual bodily parts, we invite a response of lust from others. Lust, reduces a person to only their sexuality. The person, who is created in the image and likeness of God is no longer seen unique and irreplaceable being that is to be protected and treasured, but rather they are seen simply as a means to my own satisfaction. Lust is not about being attracted to the personality or the spiritual beauty of a person, and it is not about looking out for what is best for the other. Its only aim is using the person to gratify a personal sexual drive. By dressing modestly we can protect for dignity and provides a defense against being used solely for our bodies.
Finally one final plug for modesty, it attracts the kind of guys you want to attract. If you wonder where all the good guys have gone, you should consider how you present yourself.
Remember friends and sisters, it says in Song of Songs 1:15 "Ah my beloved how beautiful you are." You are beautiful and what you wear should reflect the beauty that God created you with not cheapen it.
In Him Through Her,
Jes
Attraction is fine. But do you really want a guy looking at you saying "Wow She has really nice boobs. I am attracted to her." Or would you rather have someone look at you and say, " Wow she is smart, funny, and beautiful. I am attracted to her." Modestly helps to the world to see you are a whole being not just the sum of your parts.
If we dress in such a way to call attention to our sexual bodily parts, we invite a response of lust from others. Lust, reduces a person to only their sexuality. The person, who is created in the image and likeness of God is no longer seen unique and irreplaceable being that is to be protected and treasured, but rather they are seen simply as a means to my own satisfaction. Lust is not about being attracted to the personality or the spiritual beauty of a person, and it is not about looking out for what is best for the other. Its only aim is using the person to gratify a personal sexual drive. By dressing modestly we can protect for dignity and provides a defense against being used solely for our bodies.
Finally one final plug for modesty, it attracts the kind of guys you want to attract. If you wonder where all the good guys have gone, you should consider how you present yourself.
Remember friends and sisters, it says in Song of Songs 1:15 "Ah my beloved how beautiful you are." You are beautiful and what you wear should reflect the beauty that God created you with not cheapen it.
In Him Through Her,
Jes
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Beautiful, Loved, Worthy
I have a question for the ladies. How many of you love makeup? Eyeliner, lip gloss, eyeshadow, you know makeup. ...
Most of us women love makeup. And there is nothing wrong it that. But here is an even bigger question, why do we wear makeup?
To even our skin tone.
To enhance our eyes.
To highlight our features.
But mostly to look and feel beautiful.
This longing in our hearts to be beautiful is the nature of our feminine hearts .We long to be beautiful. And to be seen in the world as beautiful, not cute, not pretty, and not adorable but beautiful. Now I want to say to each and everyone that you are beautiful and it is not the makeup you are wearing or the way you fixed your hair this morning. And I bet you are thinking "Jes my mom tells me I am beautiful all the time but it doesn't mean anything because she is my mom and she has to say things like that."
But here is the thing, you are beautiful solely because you are created by God. In Song of Songs 1:15 "Ah, my beloved how beautiful you are." God tells us each and every day we are beautiful. Somehow in our society we have forgotten that our beauty cannot be measured by pounds, wrinkles, bra size, hairstyles, or even clothing. WE have forgotten that our value is determined by the same creator that made the earth, the wind, sea, sky, rainbows, mountains, sunsets, and snow, whose knowledge of beauty is greater than we can imagine and whose expression of love is more than we can ever fathom. We are beautiful because God loves us and created us in His image. And that makes us beautiful.
Once we accept this as truth it will change your life. I know this because it happen to me. Growing up I was never told I was beautiful. My dad always wanted boys and he got three girls. And my other sisters are very beautiful and I wasn't or I thought I wasn't because no one ever told me I was. I was always critized about my weight and about my hair and the fact that I wasn't a boy. So I didn't like being a girl at all. I hated it. So once I got to college I started to date this guy and I thought he was amazing and he told me I was beautiful and amazing. I was swept off my feet. But soon he started to tell me other things that I need to lose weight and I needed to keep my hair long because that was what he wanted. And I did it. Because He told me I was beautiful. Then he started to tell me other things. If you love me you will do this, and quickly our relationship became inpure. and then we broke up because and I was torn because I put all my worth in our relationship because he told me I was beautiful. Then I joined a Catholic sorority and these women were beautiful. And I wanted what they had. They were beautiful because they knew they were loved. And because of them I fell in love and came to know my full beauty.
So not only are you beautiful but we are loved. In the Bible we are refered to as "Beloved" which means simply one who is loved. Now we don't always feel loved. I want to tell you as story.
Once upon a time there was a king and queen and they had a beautiful daughter they named Beloved. The princess grew up totally loved. She was dressed in beautiful dresses, ate the most delecious foods, learn to ride horses, and to paint. She wanted for nothing. One day Beloved goes for a walk in the forest and walking back to the castle she falls and hits her head. She wakes up and has no idea who she is. She sees that she is wearing a beautiful dress and she thinks surely this must mean something. She runs out of the woods desperate to learn who she is. Along her way she comes to an old woman, who lives in a hut surrounded by heaps of trash. She asks the woman, "Do you know who I am?" The old woman reconises her as the princess Beloved, but tells her "you are the pesasnt girl who lives with me and works for me." The girl looks down at her beautiful dress and questions the old woman who responds " That dress is not yours, it was stolen from the castle. Let me get you your clothes." Beloved takes off the beautiful dress and puts on the rags the old woman gives her then she began to do the chores to woman told her to do. She ate the weak soup and slept in the trash heap of a hut. For months and months she lived never questioning her life or looking for her castle. One day there was a procession with the King and Queen coming through the forest. The girl went just to catch a glimpse of them. Some how she found herself in the front row. When the queen caught a glimpse of her she broke into tears and the king jumped off his horse. He went up to the girl and asked her "What is your name?" She answered, "Forgotten." He asked he if she remember anything about the castle or horses or any of these good things. She said no but I am dreamed of them. The King looked into her eyes and said, " You are my princess, My Beloved, you are my beautiful daughter. We lost you and we never thought we would find you again. We were heartbroken, please come home the castle is yours. We love you." Forgotten looked at them and said, " No, I am not a princess, I am a peasant girl and I have to go before my keeper gets angry." The king and queen asked her again to come to the castle with them. She refused and told them they were mistaken. How could someone like her be a princess? She walked away sadly back to her hut.
Believe it or not this is the story of us. We are created by the King and we are His princesses. We had all these good things but somehow we have forgotten about them. We belong to the greatest King of all. We were made to live in joy with Him but we take ourselves out of His kingdom and choose to live in our trash filled heaps.
You are worthy of this love. It is yours. This is what I want you to remember. You are beautiful, loved and worthy. Because that is the way the Lord created you to be.
In Him through Her,
JES
Most of us women love makeup. And there is nothing wrong it that. But here is an even bigger question, why do we wear makeup?
To even our skin tone.
To enhance our eyes.
To highlight our features.
But mostly to look and feel beautiful.
This longing in our hearts to be beautiful is the nature of our feminine hearts .We long to be beautiful. And to be seen in the world as beautiful, not cute, not pretty, and not adorable but beautiful. Now I want to say to each and everyone that you are beautiful and it is not the makeup you are wearing or the way you fixed your hair this morning. And I bet you are thinking "Jes my mom tells me I am beautiful all the time but it doesn't mean anything because she is my mom and she has to say things like that."
But here is the thing, you are beautiful solely because you are created by God. In Song of Songs 1:15 "Ah, my beloved how beautiful you are." God tells us each and every day we are beautiful. Somehow in our society we have forgotten that our beauty cannot be measured by pounds, wrinkles, bra size, hairstyles, or even clothing. WE have forgotten that our value is determined by the same creator that made the earth, the wind, sea, sky, rainbows, mountains, sunsets, and snow, whose knowledge of beauty is greater than we can imagine and whose expression of love is more than we can ever fathom. We are beautiful because God loves us and created us in His image. And that makes us beautiful.
Once we accept this as truth it will change your life. I know this because it happen to me. Growing up I was never told I was beautiful. My dad always wanted boys and he got three girls. And my other sisters are very beautiful and I wasn't or I thought I wasn't because no one ever told me I was. I was always critized about my weight and about my hair and the fact that I wasn't a boy. So I didn't like being a girl at all. I hated it. So once I got to college I started to date this guy and I thought he was amazing and he told me I was beautiful and amazing. I was swept off my feet. But soon he started to tell me other things that I need to lose weight and I needed to keep my hair long because that was what he wanted. And I did it. Because He told me I was beautiful. Then he started to tell me other things. If you love me you will do this, and quickly our relationship became inpure. and then we broke up because and I was torn because I put all my worth in our relationship because he told me I was beautiful. Then I joined a Catholic sorority and these women were beautiful. And I wanted what they had. They were beautiful because they knew they were loved. And because of them I fell in love and came to know my full beauty.
So not only are you beautiful but we are loved. In the Bible we are refered to as "Beloved" which means simply one who is loved. Now we don't always feel loved. I want to tell you as story.
Once upon a time there was a king and queen and they had a beautiful daughter they named Beloved. The princess grew up totally loved. She was dressed in beautiful dresses, ate the most delecious foods, learn to ride horses, and to paint. She wanted for nothing. One day Beloved goes for a walk in the forest and walking back to the castle she falls and hits her head. She wakes up and has no idea who she is. She sees that she is wearing a beautiful dress and she thinks surely this must mean something. She runs out of the woods desperate to learn who she is. Along her way she comes to an old woman, who lives in a hut surrounded by heaps of trash. She asks the woman, "Do you know who I am?" The old woman reconises her as the princess Beloved, but tells her "you are the pesasnt girl who lives with me and works for me." The girl looks down at her beautiful dress and questions the old woman who responds " That dress is not yours, it was stolen from the castle. Let me get you your clothes." Beloved takes off the beautiful dress and puts on the rags the old woman gives her then she began to do the chores to woman told her to do. She ate the weak soup and slept in the trash heap of a hut. For months and months she lived never questioning her life or looking for her castle. One day there was a procession with the King and Queen coming through the forest. The girl went just to catch a glimpse of them. Some how she found herself in the front row. When the queen caught a glimpse of her she broke into tears and the king jumped off his horse. He went up to the girl and asked her "What is your name?" She answered, "Forgotten." He asked he if she remember anything about the castle or horses or any of these good things. She said no but I am dreamed of them. The King looked into her eyes and said, " You are my princess, My Beloved, you are my beautiful daughter. We lost you and we never thought we would find you again. We were heartbroken, please come home the castle is yours. We love you." Forgotten looked at them and said, " No, I am not a princess, I am a peasant girl and I have to go before my keeper gets angry." The king and queen asked her again to come to the castle with them. She refused and told them they were mistaken. How could someone like her be a princess? She walked away sadly back to her hut.
Believe it or not this is the story of us. We are created by the King and we are His princesses. We had all these good things but somehow we have forgotten about them. We belong to the greatest King of all. We were made to live in joy with Him but we take ourselves out of His kingdom and choose to live in our trash filled heaps.
You are worthy of this love. It is yours. This is what I want you to remember. You are beautiful, loved and worthy. Because that is the way the Lord created you to be.
In Him through Her,
JES
An Intimate Encounter with Christ in the Eucharist
On June 12-17th I was privileged enough to serve with Mercy Crew at Steubenville on the Bayou 2012. Mercy Crew is a unique experience tied solely to Steubenville on the Bayou. It is made up of a group of young adults who are out of high school and that want to serve the conference in an extraordinary way. It is a place for fellowship, prayer, and service. We arrive three days before the conference and undergo some formation to prepare our hearts for service to the conference but also to live as young Catholics in the world. We pray, we talk, we have fun, we serve, but most of all we praise the King of Kings, Jesus Christ.
On Thursday night all of Mercy Crew and various volunteers for the conference got to worship the Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament. Now for those of you who are not familiar with charismatic praise and worship, it really is a fully body experience. For some people they are perfectly content praising the Lord while sitting or kneeling quietly before the Blessed Sacrament, and there is really nothing wrong with that. But I am not one of them. I already talk with my hands and it would only make sense that I would praise the Lord with my hands. Charismatic praise evolves the raising of hands, praying with open hands, standing jumping and many other movements.
So we are praising the Lord in Adoration and it is good. We sang the traditional hymn for exposition and prayed quietly before our Lord for some time. We then praised the Lord through song. And as is tradition during adoration services the priest processed through the congregation with the monstrance holding the Most Blessed Sacrament. So I am in the front row of the middle section of in this chapel, and Father starts in one side of the chapel and processes with the Lord in the Eucharist to bless everyone. I am reaching out my hands longing to be as close as possible to Our Lord. When Father stops in right in front of me. I am less than an arms length away from our Lord presence in the Holy Eucharist. I have my arms stretched out but am not touching the monstrance when Father takes my hand and places it on the monstrance. And I have never experienced something like this before. Starting from my fingers on the monstrance and spreading over my entire body was this warmth and this feeling of being held. I knew that I was staring into the eyes of my beloved. I was totally at peace with Him and enveloped in His love. Then I heard the words "Jessica, I love you and I am proud of you." I know that the Lord spoke to me and gave me such peace in my heart. Now I know in reality this moment was probably only about ten seconds long but it felt like a lifetime and I will remember those ten seconds for all my life.
I am so thankful for the love of the Lord. I know I have done nothing to deserve this love I just have it. I get love Him back. And to love Him with my whole heart is my life's purpose. I want to live out that purpose to the best of my ability. How Loved I am.
In Him thought Her,
Jes
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
"You are Beautiful"
These three simple words are what millions of women long to hear. Whether we are eight years old twirling in our new dress, or we are in our twenties going on a date or even when we are middle aged and married with grown children, ALL women long to hear these three simple words.
Just look at our society and how it treats beauty. You turn on the TV and after ten minutes of watching you have probably seem at least one if not two commercials for mascara. Now mascara can only do so much. What society is truly marketing is beauty. They know that what women truly want is to be seen as beautiful. How many times have you looked at a magazine cover and seen "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" on the cover? Its always Lose 10 pounds or How to Dress Sexier or something along those lines. Society never tells us that we are beautiful, but we long for those words. And some women will try anything to have these words said to them. Wearing clothes that don't reflect our dignity as women, developing an eating disorders because society has this cookies cutter mold of what beautiful is supposed to look like, and even plastic/ cosmetic surgery to Physically change the way we look. But this does not have to happen.
The reality is that we have a God that tells us we are beautiful each and everyday. Song of Song 4:7 "Ah my beloved, How BEAUTIFUL you are." Our God created us. He knows everything about us and yet He sees us as truly and utterly beautiful. We are is precious daughters and He loves us as the perfect father would. Yes, God the King of the universe is our father.
And what is the daughter of a King? A PRINCESS! Yes, you my dear, are a princess. But not a princess in the sense of every eight year old's fantasy. But a princess because we are the precious daughter of a King and we the kingdom's most prized and beloved person. That He the King would lay down His life to save us. He would DIE for us.
He did Die for us. He humbled Himself, the King of the Universe, to be born to woman and come down to earth to save us. He came and died on a cross for US! So that we can have our inheritance. HEAVEN! He did that because He loves us more than we can ever imagine. And that gives us worth. We are priceless to Him. We are his priceless masterpiece. "For we are his workmanship." Ephesians 2:10
We as women are beautiful. You reading this YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. And you are loved more than you will ever know but your father the King of the Universe. NEVER EVER forget that. If you take those three single words to heart you life, your world, you will never be the same.
In Him through Her,
Jes
These three simple words are what millions of women long to hear. Whether we are eight years old twirling in our new dress, or we are in our twenties going on a date or even when we are middle aged and married with grown children, ALL women long to hear these three simple words.
Just look at our society and how it treats beauty. You turn on the TV and after ten minutes of watching you have probably seem at least one if not two commercials for mascara. Now mascara can only do so much. What society is truly marketing is beauty. They know that what women truly want is to be seen as beautiful. How many times have you looked at a magazine cover and seen "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" on the cover? Its always Lose 10 pounds or How to Dress Sexier or something along those lines. Society never tells us that we are beautiful, but we long for those words. And some women will try anything to have these words said to them. Wearing clothes that don't reflect our dignity as women, developing an eating disorders because society has this cookies cutter mold of what beautiful is supposed to look like, and even plastic/ cosmetic surgery to Physically change the way we look. But this does not have to happen.
The reality is that we have a God that tells us we are beautiful each and everyday. Song of Song 4:7 "Ah my beloved, How BEAUTIFUL you are." Our God created us. He knows everything about us and yet He sees us as truly and utterly beautiful. We are is precious daughters and He loves us as the perfect father would. Yes, God the King of the universe is our father.
And what is the daughter of a King? A PRINCESS! Yes, you my dear, are a princess. But not a princess in the sense of every eight year old's fantasy. But a princess because we are the precious daughter of a King and we the kingdom's most prized and beloved person. That He the King would lay down His life to save us. He would DIE for us.
He did Die for us. He humbled Himself, the King of the Universe, to be born to woman and come down to earth to save us. He came and died on a cross for US! So that we can have our inheritance. HEAVEN! He did that because He loves us more than we can ever imagine. And that gives us worth. We are priceless to Him. We are his priceless masterpiece. "For we are his workmanship." Ephesians 2:10
We as women are beautiful. You reading this YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. And you are loved more than you will ever know but your father the King of the Universe. NEVER EVER forget that. If you take those three single words to heart you life, your world, you will never be the same.
In Him through Her,
Jes
Saturday, May 19, 2012
A LOVE LETTER FROM YOUR FATHER
Hold on to me. With everything you have hold on to me. Don't be afraid I am here to stay. I love you too much to ever let you go. I am here for you. I am right here waiting for you. Just don't be afraid. I love you so much. When tough times come around don't feel like I have abandoned you. Because I WILL never I mean NEVER leave you. I love you too much. In those times when you cannot seem to take another step ask me for your help, and I will carry you.
I don't want to hide from me. I know your heart for I created it. I know the parts you hide from me. I know the tender parts of your heart and those wounds you try to hide from everyone. I know those tears you hid from everyone and I know exactly what each one is for. I know that smile you put one when you want to hide how you really feel. I know exactly what makes you smile and what pisses you off. I know how sometimes you feel like you are too much for people to handle, but at the same time you feel like you are not enough. I know all of you insecurities.
Despite all these flaws you see in yourself. I only see you as perfect. As my BELOVED daughter. I created you beautiful. So the next time you want to complain about your weight, your hair, your nail beds, or whatever remember those things are what make you YOU. You have my fingerprints all over you. And I don't make junk. I only make good things. Because if I created junk what would that say about me.
Remember my Beautiful Daughter, I LOVE YOU. I love you with all that I am, and I hold the universe in the palm of my hand, so my love for you is vast beyond all measures. Hold on to me and allow my love to be your strength.
I LOVE YOU,
your heavenly FATHER.
I wrote this in my journal almost a month ago when I was facing some pretty huge struggles. And I know that I did not write this. I was the Lord, and I wanted to share it because it says a lot to us women. We ache to be loved. And we search and search for it. But in reality we are so love. We are loved with an unending love that we can never even imagine. We did nothing to deserve this love we just have it. So rest assured my friends for we are loved beyond what we can possibly imagine.
"YOU DID NOT CHOOSE ME, I CHOSE YOU!" John 15:16
In Him through Her,
Jes
I don't want to hide from me. I know your heart for I created it. I know the parts you hide from me. I know the tender parts of your heart and those wounds you try to hide from everyone. I know those tears you hid from everyone and I know exactly what each one is for. I know that smile you put one when you want to hide how you really feel. I know exactly what makes you smile and what pisses you off. I know how sometimes you feel like you are too much for people to handle, but at the same time you feel like you are not enough. I know all of you insecurities.
Despite all these flaws you see in yourself. I only see you as perfect. As my BELOVED daughter. I created you beautiful. So the next time you want to complain about your weight, your hair, your nail beds, or whatever remember those things are what make you YOU. You have my fingerprints all over you. And I don't make junk. I only make good things. Because if I created junk what would that say about me.
Remember my Beautiful Daughter, I LOVE YOU. I love you with all that I am, and I hold the universe in the palm of my hand, so my love for you is vast beyond all measures. Hold on to me and allow my love to be your strength.
I LOVE YOU,
your heavenly FATHER.
I wrote this in my journal almost a month ago when I was facing some pretty huge struggles. And I know that I did not write this. I was the Lord, and I wanted to share it because it says a lot to us women. We ache to be loved. And we search and search for it. But in reality we are so love. We are loved with an unending love that we can never even imagine. We did nothing to deserve this love we just have it. So rest assured my friends for we are loved beyond what we can possibly imagine.
"YOU DID NOT CHOOSE ME, I CHOSE YOU!" John 15:16
In Him through Her,
Jes
Becoming. A blog!
Well hello.
So It has been a week since I came off the road with my year of service with NET Ministries. And so much has happened. It was truly life changing. I learned more about my heart than I ever expected and have grown so much as a woman of God and as a person. And to quote Hillsong's song "Fire Fall Down" "I will never be the same."
So why a blog? Well I already keep a prayer journal but I am not going to publish that but sometimes I want to share things that the Lord has revealed to my heart that I think more people need to hear. I have always loved writing. And I had to keep a blog in college so I figured I could give this a shot.
What this is going to be about? Well we as humans are all on a path that the Lord has laid out for us. Now we can choose to truly become what we are meant to be or we can just wander around aimlessly hoping that something good will come from our wanderings. I have chosen to follow the Lord and Truly BECOME the woman He intended for me to be. And I have full faith in Him for he says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, Plans for your welfare not for woe, plans to give you a future full of hope."
This is a place where I can share what the Lord has revealed to my heart and hopefully it can speak to your heart as well. My goal is heaven and I can lead you a little closer to there myself then I have done a good work. May the Lord bless you abundantly.
IN HIM THROUGH HER,
Jes |
So It has been a week since I came off the road with my year of service with NET Ministries. And so much has happened. It was truly life changing. I learned more about my heart than I ever expected and have grown so much as a woman of God and as a person. And to quote Hillsong's song "Fire Fall Down" "I will never be the same."
So why a blog? Well I already keep a prayer journal but I am not going to publish that but sometimes I want to share things that the Lord has revealed to my heart that I think more people need to hear. I have always loved writing. And I had to keep a blog in college so I figured I could give this a shot.
What this is going to be about? Well we as humans are all on a path that the Lord has laid out for us. Now we can choose to truly become what we are meant to be or we can just wander around aimlessly hoping that something good will come from our wanderings. I have chosen to follow the Lord and Truly BECOME the woman He intended for me to be. And I have full faith in Him for he says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, Plans for your welfare not for woe, plans to give you a future full of hope."
This is a place where I can share what the Lord has revealed to my heart and hopefully it can speak to your heart as well. My goal is heaven and I can lead you a little closer to there myself then I have done a good work. May the Lord bless you abundantly.
IN HIM THROUGH HER,
Jes |
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